Memorable Graduation Commencement Speeches

A little humor can often make graduation speeches enjoyable, memorable and quite entertaining. Many times major universities will rely on celebrity comedians or other individuals to add some laughter to commencement day. Here are some humorous quotes from speeches throughout the years.

"I see you out there, thinking, pondering, pontificating, using words like subterfuge, fuselage, and MSNBC. You remind me of a lot of the smart, young people I know: Doogie Howser, Malcom in the Middle, and Donatello of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." -- Seth McFarlane as character Peter Griffin from "Family Guy," Harvard University, Cambridge, MA, 2006.

"And if someone does offer you a job, say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least you'll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing." -- Stephen Colbert, Knox College, Galesburg, IL, 2006.

"The real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks from straw and water, those people aren't Colonial re-enactors. They are poor. Help them." -- Jon Stewart, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, VA, 2004.

"As most of you are probably aware, I didn't graduate from Harvard. In fact, I never even got a call back from admissions. Damn you Harvard, damn you!" -- Will Ferrell, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA, 2003.

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